Stories - the guiding star

It seems to be an ever increasing and problematic habit that we often out-source birth, health, our bodies and lives in general to the 'experts'. The maternity and health industry in particular has done really well out of feeding us this message, because it makes a whole lot of money. Yet, the only person who spends 24hrs 7 days a week for their whole life within our bodies, is us. Therefore, we know it the best. We have been giving birth for thousand and thousands, if not millions of years and the amount of time that the medical indsutry has been man-handling birth is a tiny miniscule sesame seed-sized blip in the entire tudor-sized banquet of human history...

When we start to de-professionalise birth we start to loosen the shackles that hold us in a paralyzed and numb state, always looking outwards for the answers to our own choices. On the other side of the professionalised 'data set' of birth, lies a beautiful, soft and dreamy landscape of stories...

The most potent of stories are told by women who have been where you are going, and whilst the details of every single birth are just as unique as every woman who gives herself to it, birth as a whole is wonderfully similar between us...in that there are sensations (in most cases, but not all!) and then a baby emerges (in all cases!)...but of course it is the detail which really makes a beautiful story come to life, and which acts as a healing balm on the wounds that most of us bare about birth. We have always been fed stories about birth, from the moment we were born. The story of our own birth is woven into the cells of our body. Except we didn't choose to hear most of the stories we have been told up until now, the ones that are rife in the media, that have been trickle fed into our subcocious mind for years upon years..

The reason I am writing this is to inspire you to go and collect stories, to reorientate your focus toward real women who have done what you want to do. It is my hope that you boldly tap in to the abundant resource of your desires and go on an adventure into the unknown, into a landscape of beautiful sparkling possibility. In my own experience, I had my 'realistic and sensible' persona completely challenged when I dared to dream, and when I dared to dream I dared to really know what I wanted, and to know myself. Once I had allowed my dream birth to sprout into my consciousness, it was then a case of lovingly watering and observing it with a curious and calm watchfulness. I found that the more stories I heard of women who had the birth I wanted, at home, in the company only of a couple of trusted loved ones, surrounded by water, fire, trees, bird song and sturdy walls, the more I wanted to devour more and more of these stories. Each one so delicately received and each time weaving more threads of confidence and belief in my own birth.

There are some wonderful resources out there to get started - I would highly recommened listening to the Free Birth Society Podcast, The 'Normal Boring Freebirth for Normal Boring People' podcast and tapping in to Samantha Gadsden's Freebirth And Emergency Childbirth Support Group UK on facebook and speaking to women anywhere and everywhere to gather tales. Also, if you hear from a friend that someone she knows (free)birthed at home, then I encourage you to get her number and give her a call, chances are she would be delighted to share her story with you. I did this with a couple of women and I held those stories so close to my heart whilst birth was brewing and during the throes of labour. If your pregnancy goes on for that extra mile, 42, 43 weeks or more, then speaking to a woman who has been through the same experience is so encouraging and strengthening during what can sometimes feel like a fragile time. And this goes for anything that you are experiencing.

Focus on stories from women who did what you want to do. It is well known that what we consume in pregnancy greatly affects us, even more so than in our non-pregnant state. We are even more porous and receptive at this time in our life, which is why it is so important to focus on stories which inspire and strengthen you, rather than those that eave you feeling deflated and confused. You can choose medicine over poison.