Trading Responsibility for Power

Whether we realise it or not, we all make choices about who we invite to our births.

When we invite a licenced midwife to a birth, whether at home or in the hospital, we are doing so because we want them to either a) manage the birth, because we do not understand and want to leave it to the experts or b) we want them close by, and not overtly managing, in case of an emergency. There is also of course something in between, whereby you might ask a midwife to attend but explicitly ask for them not to assess or monitor you, and maybe even sit in a separate room to where you are labouring.

There are no wrong choices. I believe that every choice is a necessary point in a persons' individual evolution and experience on this earth. Therefore, every choice is utimately perfect. This isn't to say that every choice leads to enjoyable, satisfying experiences that leaves the person wanting to do it again. In maternity choices, this is far from the truth. In fact I would say that most choices lead to at worst regretable, life shattering, violating, traumatising experiences and at best disappointing, numbing and disempowering ones. Both tend to alter the richness of the postpartum period, and significantly hamper the ease of connection and attachment of mother and baby, and also of wider relationships in the family and beyond. Let us not skip over the fact that this cause of disconnect and discontent has far reaching affects on society, and humanty as whole, and one could argue the earth as a whole.

On the other side of the experience coin, a Mother is transformed into a version of herself which is more powerful than she could ever have imagined.

Yes, really.

If you have ever met one of these mothers, you will know. There will be no doubt.

Unfortunately..

They are few and far between. People don't know its an option because they are such rare occurrences nowadays. They are rare occurrences because we have been led to believe, in every thought in our minds, that birth is dangerous, and we need medical professionals there to protect and save us from its vast and devastatingly uncontained danger.

Therefore, most women go down the expected and only imaginable route of maternity services offered by the NHS or private midwives, and predictably recreate the dangerous stories that we are warned of. But the truth is that the danger, injury and trauma are not caused by birth/ Often is is actually caused, in most cases nowadays, by the ignorant mismanagement of birth, and the mistreatment of mother and babies. But of course this is not the story that is perpetutated into society, the story that is spread is one of the woman and baby being SAVED by the medical professionals - and therefore solidifying the need for them in the future, for all women who hear this story.

I am one of the mothers who experienced total blissful power and had my life and work changed forever. My world expanded when I had my baby. She was my first baby, I hadn't done it before. And guess what, I still knew how to do it. My body led the way..all I had to do was get my mind out of the way so that my body could do what it knew how to do..what it is biologically designed to do. And so I did.

Would I be feeling as powerful if a midwife was there? I know for a fact that I wouldn;t. Even if I had the same smooth, easy birth with a midwife sat in the corner. I know that I would have given some of the credit to her, and I know that she probably, would have taken it.